


Remember Me

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-26 14:19:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10788435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: A future fic





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended

I dropped my bag on the floor and slipped off my coat, draping it over the back of the chair before sitting down heavily. I smiled at the nurse on the opposite side of the bed.

“Hi Jenny, how is he today?”

“Hi Lady Ashert..” I raised my eyebrows questioningly and she blushed, “sorry. Hi Barbara. I know you were hoping but there’s no real change. Mr Sunil will be doing his rounds in an hour if you wish to speak to him.”

“Thanks Jenny.”

As she bustled out of the room to do whatever it was she had to do next I turned my attention back to Tommy. Reaching into my bag I took out a tube of hand cream. Squeezing a little into the palm of my hand, I picked his hand up off the bed and began to gently work the cream into his pale flesh, chatting away as I did so.

“Hello my love, I should have greeted you first, sorry about that. I hope you don’t mind the scent of the hand cream, I tried to get the most neutral one that they had in the shop. If you don’t like it Tommy, well you’ll just have to wake up and tell me.

“Your mum and Judith will be in later while I go to my ante-natal appointment. Peter said that he will try and come along this evening, it depends if his flight gets in on time. He would have come home sooner but he needed to wrap up a few things and find someone to cover his clients.

“Oh, the vet came yesterday and checked on Storm, and his leg is completely healed. Judith has been overseeing his rehabilitation but she says he’s missing you; he makes sure everyone at the stables knows whose horse he is by being as difficult as possible! You always were the only one he would respond to. When you get out of here the two of will have to head out for a long ride.”

I moved the chair and began to work on Tommy’s other hand.

“I had a call from Stuart yesterday. He was asking after you. He and Winston are going to drive down to see you next weekend, workload permitting obviously.”

My eyes began to water. I tugged a couple of tissues from a box on the bedside locker and swiped at them furiously. “Sorry about that, must have got some of the hand cream in my eye. Silly me; I can be so clumsy.”

Putting the hand cream away, I stood and, with my fingers, began to tidy Tommy’s hair.

“Hmmm, think you’re going to need a decent haircut when you finally get out of here. That wayward lock of yours seems determined to stay flopped over your eye; sorry about that. You’re also going to need a professional shave, the electric razor they’ve been using just doesn’t shave as close.”

I pressed my lips to his, trying not to break down when he didn’t kiss me back. I had to be strong; for him and for me.

“Ahhh, good morning Lady Asherton, how are you?”

I looked up at the consultant and smiled.

“I’m fine thank you Mr Sunil; yourself?”

“Very well thank you.” He picked up the chart from the end of Tommy’s bed; checking the machines monitoring him and making a few notes before replacing it. “Lord Asherton is stable and I have no immediate concerns.”

“I just want him to wake up. It’s been a month since his riding accident, surely he should be showing some signs of regaining consciousness?”

“I understand that this is frustrating for you Lady Asherton, but we cannot make Lord Asherton regain consciousness. All we can do is monitor him and provide the medical support he needs.”

“I’m sorry.”

Mr Sunil put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. “You have nothing to apologise for. While I can offer you no guarantees, I can see no reason why Lord Asherton shouldn’t recover. Try and be patient, and in the meantime, keep doing what you are doing, but don’t forget to take care of yourself and the little one.”

I smiled at him briefly, “thank you Mr Sunil, I do my best.”

“I have no doubt that you do Lady Asherton. I must continue with my rounds, but if you have any questions or concerns then speak to a member of staff and they will contact me.”

I nodded my head absently, picking up Tommy’s hand again and lacing my fingers through his.

“You hear that my love? There’s no reason why you shouldn’t recover; that’s good news, isn’t it? I miss your voice, I miss your eyes, I miss your beautiful smile. You need to come back to us Tommy, you’ve got so much to look forward to.”


	2. Chapter 2

I dropped my bag on the floor and slipped off my coat, draping it over the back of the chair before sitting down heavily. I smiled at the nurse on the opposite side of the bed.

“Hi Jenny, how is he today?”

“Hi Barbara, good news, Lord Asherton seems to be more aware today. Mr Sunil has been in to see him and is very pleased with his progress.”

I gawped at her, convinced that I must look like a stunned cod. “Tommy’s waking up?”

“It’s positive news Barbara.”

I took Tommy’s hand in mine and squeezed it. “You’re coming back to us. Keep fighting Tommy, please keep fighting.”

I spent the rest of the morning talking to him, filling him on the Nanrunnel gossip, the news from Howenstow, how my ante-natal appointment had gone; anything and everything. I had to believe that all of us coming in and interacting with him was doing good.

Two warm hands settled on my shoulders, I glanced up and discovered Peter standing behind me.

“Hi Barbara, how are you and the bump today?”

I smiled at him, gesturing for him to take the seat next to me. “We’re doing okay thanks. How’s you?”

“Annoyed that I had to catch a later flight, but I’m here now.”

“You are. Peter, I owe you an apology.”

“What on earth for?”

“When Tommy first had his accident, when I called you, you offered to come and I told you not to. I was wrong, and I’m sorry.”

“Barbara, stop, no. You had no way of knowing that Tommy wouldn’t regain consciousness. You went by the information you had at the time. Tommy would have been furious with me if I had just upped and left my clients, he would have called me irresponsible, and I would have been. We both did what we thought was right.”

“Tommy is so proud of you, of how you fought your demons and are now putting that experience to good use.”

“Well, who better to help drug addicts than a reformed addict. And as to mine and Tommy's relationship, it was you who made us see how stupid we were being, so if anything, I owe you an apology for not thanking you sooner for bashing our heads together.”

“You would have got there eventually. I have news, apparently Tommy is more alert today.”

Peter hugged me. “That’s not just news, it's brilliant news.”

“It is. Look, I need to run some errands so I’ll leave you to spend some time with your brother, I expect you’ve got a lot to tell him.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to kick you out.”

“I’m sure.” I kissed Tommy and then hugged Peter again. “I’ll be back later.”

I’d been out for a couple of hours when my phone rang. Rescuing it from the bowels of my bag I saw that Peter was calling.

“Hello?”

“Barbara? You need to come back to the hospital. Tommy’s awake.”

I hurried along the corridor to Tommy’s room. Peter was sitting outside and intercepted me.

“Barbara, wait.”

I tried to slip past, “I need to see him Peter.”

“Barbara, please wait.”

I freed myself from Peter’s embrace and into the room. Tommy was sitting up in bed. I threw myself at him.

“Oh Tommy, thank god.”

“What the hell are you doing Havers?”

I stepped back, confusion evident on my face. “Tommy, it’s me, Barbara.”

“I know who you are Havers. What I don’t understand is why you are all over me like a rash. And another thing, why are you here and my wife Helen isn't?”


	3. Chapter 3

I wandered out of Tommy’s room in a daze and took the seat next to Peter.

“I’m sorry Barbara, I did try to warn you.”

I blindly reached for his hand, “he doesn’t remember.”

“I know, he doesn’t remember me either, well, not the me I am now.”

“I took a deep breath. “We need to call Judith and your mum, and then we need to speak to his consultant.”

~*~

I sat in Mr Sunil’s office, Tommy’s family around me, as we listened to what he had to say.

“Lord Asherton has retrograde amnesia. He has trouble remembering certain things that happened before his accident. In a way, it is as if he has opened a filing cabinet; it is full of labelled suspension files, but the contents of these are either mixed up or missing.”

“Will his memories come back?” It was Dorothy who asked the question we all wanted the answer to.

“There are no guarantees. With time, parts of his memory may return, or none of it, or all of it. You will have to be patient with him. You may also notice some personality changes. I understand that this is very frustrating, but there is nothing that can be done to expedite any recovery. I’m sorry it isn’t better news.”

“Thank you, Mr Sunil, for both your time and your candidness, it is appreciated.”

We left his office and gathered in the corridor outside.

“Are you coming back to Tommy’s room?”

I shook my head, “No. He doesn’t want to see me Judith, he wants Helen.”

“You were his friend when he was with Helen.”

I bit my lip, fighting the urge to cry. “He doesn’t seem to remember that either. He’s like he was on our first case. I’m just Havers, the detective sergeant that no one wanted to be partnered with. He remembers you, all I do is upset him.” Swallowing down a sob, I turned on my heel and walked away.

Peter put his hand in his pocket and passed Judith his keys. “I’ll go with Barbara. Tommy doesn’t want me around either, and I don’t think Barbara should be on her own.”

I leant against the Bristol, tears streaming down my face. For four weeks I had prayed to any deity that would listen that Tommy would wake up, and now he had I almost wished he hadn’t.

“Barbara?”

I furiously wiped my eyes. Peter’s arm came around my shoulder and he hugged me. The gesture was so Tommy that I started to cry again.

“Tommy… Tommy’s my… my life. I… I can’t… can’t do… this without… without him.”

He enveloped me in his arms, my face against his chest, and immediately I was taken back to when Tommy had held me the same way. My tears became sobs and I clung to Peter desperately, my legs giving out. Somehow, he retrieved the car keys, unlocking the driver’s door and manhandled me onto the seat. He crouched down beside me, holding my hands in his.

“You need to breathe Barbara. Being this upset isn’t good for you or the baby.”

Slowly I began to calm down and my breathing became easier as my sobs subsided. Peter was right, I needed to pull myself together for the sake of the baby if nothing else.

“Let’s go home Peter, there’s nothing more we can do here today.”


	4. Chapter 4

I was curled up in an armchair next to the fire when Judith came in. I briefly acknowledged her before going back to staring absently into the flames.

“How are you Barbara?”

“Numb. Empty. Adrift. Take your pick. How’s Tommy?”

“Confused. I answered his questions the best I could, but I don’t think what I told him has sunk in.”

“He fell apart when Helen died; I thought he’d never come back to us. I don’t know if I can go through that again.”

“You don’t have to face this on your own, we’re all here for you.”

“All of you except Tommy. I’m sorry Judith, that sounded callous and dismissive.”

“No, it didn’t. You’re hurting Barbara, someone has pulled the rug out from under you. I explained to Tommy that you and he were married, and that you had been for a while.”

“But he didn’t believe you because he remembers me as the person I was when we were first partnered. He didn’t like that person, hell; I didn’t like that person, there’s no way he would be married to her, she was an absolute cow.”

“He fell in love with you, he’ll fall in love with you again.”

“I hope so Judith, I really hope so.”

~*~

I knocked on the door to Tommy’s room and then popped my head around it. “Is it okay if I come in?”

Tommy looked up at me and nodded. He didn’t look thrilled to see me, but he also didn’t look like he was going to throw me out. As my body became visible Tommy’s eyes widened with surprise.

“You’re pregnant.”

I settled myself in the chair beside the bed before answering, “yes, five months.”

“I didn’t notice yesterday.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

An awkward silence filled the room. Tommy fussed with his bedding while I worried a loose thread on my sweater.

“Judith says that we are married.”

“We are.”

“How long have we been together?”

“We dated for six months and then got married. We’ve been married a year.”

“And Helen?”

“Helen died Tommy. I’m sorry, but I can’t think of any way to say it that would soften the blow.”

“What happened?”

“She was shot. I tried to save her but it was hopeless.”

“I don’t remember. Why don’t I remember?”

“You had a riding accident. Something spooked Storm, he reared up and you fell off and hit your head.”

“Are we still working at the Met?”

“No. Once Hillier discovered that we were dating he told us that we couldn’t be partners any longer. We decided that we would resign, we didn’t want to work with anyone else. We spend half our time in London and half at Howenstow.”

“And Helen is really dead?”

I dug my nails hard into my palm and swallowed, determined not to cry in front of him.

“Yes Tommy, she is. She died nearly three years ago.”

He shook his head. “None of this seems real to me, it’s as if you’re talking about someone else’s life. I don’t connect with any of it.”

“Have you spoken to Mr Sunil?”

“My consultant? Yes. He told me not to try and force things; that my memories will either come back to me or they won’t. He did give me one piece of good news though; I can continue my rehabilitation at home so, all being well, I will be discharged at the end of the week.”

“That is good news Tommy, I’m pleased for you.”

“It will be nice to be back at Howenstow, and perhaps the familiar surroundings will help my memory return.”

“Do you want me to move out?”

“No, definitely not. I may not remember our relationship but Howenstow is as much your home as mine; I won’t throw you out of it. However…”

My heart sank. I knew what he was going to say, and I didn’t think I would be able to hold myself together if I heard him say the words, so I hurried to get there first. “I understand, I’ll move my things into another bedroom.”

“Thank you Hav… Barbara.”

“No problem.”

Silence descended again. I fidgeted with my bag and then looked at my watch. “Well, I guess I should head off, leave you to get some rest.”

“Thank you, I am tired.”

I got to my feet, “I’ll see you later then.”

“Yes, later.”

“Goodbye Tommy.” The words hung in the air as I waited for him to respond.

“Oh yes, right, sorry, goodbye Havers.” 

I left the room barely holding myself together. Once I was back in the car I slumped forward, my head resting on the steering wheel. Tommy was coming home. I knew that I should be pleased, but somehow I knew that when he returned to Howenstow our problems would really start.


	5. Chapter 5

I kept my promise and moved my belongings from our room, crying what had felt like a thousand tears as I did so. I had chosen to move to the top floor where the servants would once have lived, not because I felt it was where I belonged, but because it was as far away from Tommy as I could get without leaving Howenstow entirely.

I had gone back to the hospital a couple of times, but each visit had been awkward. Tommy had been excessively polite to me and the conversation stilted. He didn’t remember anything about our friendship or our relationship; I had been right when I said he saw me as angry and difficult Havers.

When Tommy came home I took the decision to remain in my room and out of the way. Perhaps it was cowardly, but I couldn’t bear to see him walk through the door and not be able to take him in my arms. We were a very tactile couple, and not being able to touch him caused me agonising pain. 

I was lying on the bed when I heard a gentle tap on my door.

“Come in.”

The door opened and Peter entered. He walked over to the bed and perched on the edge of it.

“How are you doing?”

“Wonderfully.”

He pulled a disbelieving face. “Now tell me the truth.”

“I feel like absolute shit, is that what you wanted to hear?”

“I just want you to be honest with me. I can see how much this is hurting you and I hate it.”

“I hate it too, but this is my life now. The Tommy I knew and loved has gone, and nothing short of a miracle will bring him back.”

“He did ask where you were.”

“Probably to make sure that our paths didn’t cross.”

“Hardly likely as you’ve shut yourself away like the mad woman in the attic.”

“Interesting comparison considering that’s who I feel I am right now. I’m a Lynley by marriage only, and if that marriage is over…” I let my voice trail off.

“Don’t put yourself down and don’t write your marriage off. You were part of this family long before you and Tommy got together. Even if the worst does happen, we won’t abandon you.”

“Thanks Peter, but if it comes down to a choice between Tommy and I, well we both know how that would end.”

“Are you going to come down for lunch?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Barbara, you have to eat.”

“Maybe later.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

~*~

I loitered unseen in the hallway as Peter joined Mother and Judith in the kitchen. Moving closer, I eavesdropped.

“She won’t come down. I told her that she needed to eat but she said she wasn’t hungry.” Peter’s voice was strained.

“I’ll take her something up.” That was Mother, always thinking she knew best; that much about her I did remember.

“It’s a nice idea, however I don’t think she’d welcome it right now.” Peter again. 

“She needs to keep up her strength, and she has the baby to think about.” I had wondered when Judith would speak up.

“She promised me that she’d eat something later. I’ll check on her in a couple of hours.” 

I frowned; when did Peter care about anyone other than himself? Pushing myself off the wall, I wandered into the kitchen, silencing any further conversation.

~*~

After lunch I excused myself and headed back to my room. I was surprised to see Barbara coming through the door that led from what had once been the servants’ quarters.

“Hello Barbara.”

She stopped, her eyes dropping to the floor as she shifted nervously from one foot to the other. “Hello Tommy.”

“You didn’t join us for lunch.”

“I wasn’t hungry.”

“You don’t have to avoid me Barbara. I told you, Howenstow is as much your house as it is mine.”

“I know, thank you, I appreciate that. Um, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve left something in my room.” With that she turned and fled.

Shaking my head at her behaviour, I went to my room for a nap.


	6. Chapter 6

As the week progressed I spent most of my time in my room avoiding Tommy. Peter was fussing round me, bringing me food, trying to encourage me to come downstairs or get some fresh air; I understood his actions, but all they did was remind me of Tommy and how he used to take care of me.

I hadn’t seen Tommy since the first day, but that probably had more to do with me not leaving my room than him avoiding me. I didn’t want to see him, it only reminded me of what I had lost. Not that I needed a reminder; it was with me every second of every day. It hung over me like a dark cloud, suffocating me; and there was never any respite.

~*~

As I walked into the family room the conversation stopped. It was becoming a habit, the family not wanting to discuss Barbara in front of me, and it was becoming irritating. It wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t remember my life with her.

“No Barbara?”

“She said that she was tired and might come down later.”

I saw the look that passed between them, the look that said they all knew the real reason Barbara wouldn’t come down; me.

“I think I’ll go for a walk.”

“What about your supper?”

“Don’t worry Mother, I’ll get something later when I’ve worked up an appetite.”

Instead of heading out of the house, I made my way up the stairs towards the old servants’ quarters, towards Barbara. I had no idea what I was going to say to her, but I couldn’t let things continue as they currently were.

I came to a stop outside the room she was using and knocked. When there was no answer I cautiously entered the room. I was surprised to find it empty; the bed neatly made. On the small chest of drawers by the window sat an empty glass and a water jug; next to them was a folded piece of paper, and on top of that two rings. 

I picked up the rings, holding them tight in my hand as I unfolded the piece of paper and began to read.

_My love_

_I can’t do this anymore. Being so close to you, yet feeling so far apart, it’s killing me._

_I know that none of this is your fault. Life has changed drastically for both of us. While you don’t remember us and what we built together, I do, and I miss it desperately._

_I don’t want to come between you and your family; but I can see that is what’s happening. You told me that Howenstow was my home too; it isn’t. I’m the cuckoo in the nest, which is why I must leave._

_I wish you nothing but the best Tommy, and I hope that your future is everything you want it to be._

_All my love; now and always_

_Barbara_

As I read her note I felt my stomach knot with worry. The me that I had lost; he loved her. He had married her and they were starting a family together. Maybe my memories wouldn’t return, but there was nothing to say that we couldn’t make new ones together. It wasn’t her fault that I had no recollection of the union between us that she held so dear. I had been cold towards her when she had been nothing but loving and kind, and now I had driven her away from her home, from the only family she had. I had been a selfish bastard; now I needed to rectify things.

I hurried downstairs, drawing everybody’s attention as I crashed into the family room. 

“Tommy?”

“It’s Barbara. She’s gone.”

Peter leapt to his feet angrily. “What do you mean she’s gone? What did you do?”

“It isn’t Tommy’s fault.” Mother tried to defend me but I was having none of it, on this occasion she was wrong.

“No Mother, it is my fault. None of this was down to Barbara, yet I distanced myself from her and punished her; I was selfish to her and I was cold. I made her feel unwelcome in her own home when what I should have done was talk to her, and I deeply regret that.”

“That’s wonderful, but it isn’t going to find her and bring her back!”

“You’re right Peter, it isn’t; but all of us working together will.”

“You aren’t supposed to overexert yourself or get stressed Tommy, you're recovering from a serious accident.”

“I know that too. I can’t just sit here while Barbara is out there, alone and pregnant. I caused this, I need to put this right.”


	7. Chapter 7

I huddled down in my seat as the train rolled on towards London, staring out into the darkness but not seeing, oblivious to everything except my thoughts.

I never dreamed that I would walk away from Tommy; he was my best friend, my husband, my lover, my everything. We had been through so much together, things that would have shattered other relationships had only strengthened ours; our connection unbreakable. 

Until now.

Now our connection was terminated. It felt as if Tommy had pushed me away and then slammed the door in my face. Try as I might, I couldn’t reach him and so, for sanity’s sake, I had to stop trying.

My sanity wasn’t the only reason I had chosen to leave. My hand drifted down to my belly, and I absently stroked my small bump. 

“It’s just me and you now little one.”

~*~

I sat on Barbara’s bed, staring at a framed photo of she and I that I had found tucked away in the bottom of a drawer. I had no memory of when it had been taken, but the love we had for one another was obvious, even to me. I looked content, happy, at peace; emotions that I would have sworn I had little experience of.

I had looked through Barbara’s room, hoping for some hint as to where she had gone, and had been surprised at how little she had taken with her; the wardrobe and drawers were still full of her clothes and other bits and pieces. I had also checked the little bathroom and found all her toiletries still sitting on the shelf. We still weren’t sure how she had managed to leave Howenstow without any of us noticing, but the fact that she didn’t appear to have taken anything except her handbag and a coat had probably made it easier for her to slip out quietly.

I looked back at the photo again, tracing it with my finger, wishing that I could remember something, anything, about our life together. If what I saw in the photo was a true reflection of our relationship then I was loved completely, and now I had thrown it away. I hoped that when I found Barbara she would forgive me and give me a second chance. If she did, I wouldn’t waste it.

~*~

It was nearly six am when I paid the taxi and then trudged up the steps to the door of our townhouse in Eaton Terrace. I crept into the hallway, closing the door quietly behind me and shrugging off my coat.

“Lady Asherton?”

My heart sank, but I pasted a smile on my face and turned around.

“Hello Denton.”

“I didn’t know you were coming back to London. Can I take your bags for you?”

“I haven’t brought any with me, it’s just a flying visit, I won’t be staying long, a couple of days at most.”

“And is Lord Asherton with you?”

I bit my bottom lip hard, “no, Lord Asherton is staying in Cornwall.” I glanced down at my watch, “I’m going to go and get some sleep. Have the day off Denton.”

“Are you sure Lady Asherton?”

“I’m sure.”

~*~

I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering where to look for Barbara next when Mother came into the room.  
“I’ve just had an interesting call with Denton. Barbara turned up at the townhouse twenty minutes ago.”

I sat up abruptly, “is she okay?”

“He said she seemed tired and subdued. She told him that she was making a flying visit and that he should take the day off as she was going to bed. He felt that something was wrong, which is why he called.”

“I think I need to take a trip to London.” I threw back the duvet and began to dress.

You can’t drive.”

“So, I’ll charter a damn helicopter! Sorry Mother, but you know that I need to go to her and try and sort this out. Despite the way I have been treating her, Barbara still loves me, or at least she said she did. I have to put things right with her, I just hope she will forgive me.”

“She does love you Tommy, she always has; and you’ve always loved her too.”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw the two of you when you came down to celebrate your engagement to Helen. I saw the way she looked at you, and the way you looked at her; you adored each other, you just didn’t recognise it as love because neither of you had experienced it before. And then when she came here to recover from being held hostage; you followed her, worried about her and watched over her. You two were the centre of each other's worlds, and I truly believe that you can find that again, however long it takes.”

“I hope you’re right Mother, I really do.”


	8. Chapter 8

I entered the townhouse quietly, not wanting to wake Barbara if she was still asleep. It had taken a good couple of hours to get to London, but the helicopter had been much quicker than the train or driving.

I headed upstairs. Now I was here I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, or if anything I said would make a difference. Barbara had every right to be angry with me after the way I had treated her, but I hoped that she would hear me out.

I cracked open the door and glanced round it, relief washing over me as I saw her curled up under the covers. Trying my best to be silent, I crept across the room and sat down beside the bed. I took the opportunity to study her. More than anything I wanted there to be some sort of recognition; a flash of memory, and I was disappointed when there was none.

After about half an hour she began to stir. I didn’t want to scare her so I waited for her to open her eyes.

“Tommy?” Her expression was soft and loving, if a little confused.

“Hi Barbara.”

“What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

“Finding you was easy, Denton called Mother. As for what I am doing here; you disappeared, I was worried.”

“I left you a note.”

“I was still worried.”

She sat up, propping herself on the pillows and tucking the covers around her. I took it as a good thing that she hadn't screamed at me to get out.

“I couldn’t stay Tommy, I still can’t. I came here while I weighed up my options; I don’t just have myself to think about now. I can’t just vanish off the face of the earth.”

I reached for her hand, and was pleased when she didn’t pull away. “I know I’ve been a complete bastard towards you, and I won’t blame you if you don’t believe me, but I don’t want you to walk away Barbara.”

“I can’t stay Tommy. If we had never got together, if we were still just friends, things would be different; but now I know what it is to love you and be loved by you… it’s too much.”

“I wish I could remember our relationship. I wish that there was an easy way for me to go to sleep one night and wake up the next morning with my memories intact. It’s frustrating having chunks of your life missing; I feel like I’m trying to get somewhere, but every road I take is a dead end or it leads me back to where I started. And then I found the photo of us that you had hidden in your bedroom, and for the first time since I came to in that hospital room, something made sense. The way you were looking at me, there was so much love in your eyes, and I could tell that I loved you too. I’ve always wanted to be loved like that.”

“That picture was taken on the night we got engaged. We had been out for a meal and you surprised me by getting down on one knee in the middle of the restaurant. One of the waiters took the picture on my phone. I was so happy; I finally had everything I had dreamed of.”

“I’m sorry for hurting you so badly.”

“No Tommy, no. Please don’t apologise, none of this is your fault. You had an accident, and parts of your memory were lost because of it. Never think I blame you for what has happened because I don’t.”

“Then why did you leave?”

“I told you. Now I know what it is to be loved by you, to have that taken away is more than I can bear. I love you, I always will. I mean it when I say that I don’t blame you, but I can’t just stand by and watch you move on with your life when I can’t. I am going to be the mother of your child, that ties us together forever. With time and a little distance, I hope we can be friends again, but if not then perhaps we can at least be civil co-parents.”

“I think I want more than that.”

She tugged her hand away and shrank back against the bed, “I won’t let you take our child away from me.”

“God no Barbara, I wouldn’t do that. That isn’t what I meant.”

“Then what are you trying to tell me?”

“When I looked at that photo, all I could think was how happy I looked. Being with you made me happy. I want that again; I want us to try again.”

“Really?”

“I’ve never meant anything more. I’m not under any illusion that this is going to be easy.”

“You and I has never been easy.”

I smiled fondly at her, “I’ll have to take your word for that.”

“It hasn’t; but it has always been worth it. Are you sure this is what you want Tommy?”

I moved to sit next to her on the bed, sliding my arm around her shoulder and hugging her close. She nestled against me, her arm wrapping itself round my waist, and I was struck by how right it felt.

“Yes, this is what I want. I don’t know if I will ever get my memories back, but if I don’t then we can make new ones. Mother told me that she knew that we had been in love for years, even as far back as mine and Helen’s engagement. I’d be an idiot to throw that away.”

“You do know we’re still going to fight? That’s one thing in all our time together that never changed.”

“So, we’ll row. All couples do it; why should we be any different?”

“We shouldn’t.”

I dropped a kiss into her hair, “are you going to come back to Howenstow with me?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes, but I need you to promise me something.”

“And that would be?”

“That you will stop hiding yourself away in the attic. In order for us to rebuild our relationship we do need to interact with each other. And another thing, you need to start eating again.”

“I chose the attic for the same reason I left; to see you and not touch you, it hurt.”

“Well there’ll be no more of that either. It’s going to take time for us to get back to where we were but, in the meantime, if you want to hug me, you can hug me.”

“I’ll move my things into the room next to yours.”

“Very convenient if I want to call on you.”

“Oh, there’ll be none of that, but I might let you kiss me goodnight.”

“Spoilsport!”

Barbara smiled up at me, “this is the most normal Tommy and Barbara conversation we’ve had since you woke up.”

“See what can be achieved when we interact.”

"Can it really be this easy Tommy?"

“It can, if we want it to be."

“I do, I really do, but what if…”

I pressed a finger to her lips. “Shush. If and when the what ifs arise, we’ll deal with them together.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”


	9. Chapter 9

We returned to Howenstow and settled back into a routine. When Tommy wasn’t working on his rehabilitation he spent time with me and with his family. Slowly but surely bridges were built, and I began to see glimpses of the Tommy that I had fallen in love with and married.

It felt odd to be having date nights with my husband, but I was thrilled to be able to spend time with him. True to his word, if I wanted to hug him then I hugged him, and he was just as tactile and affectionate in return.

He had become fully involved in the pregnancy; accompanying me to my medical appointments, working with me on the birthing plan, and shopping for the baby. Sometimes when we cuddled up he would amuse me by talking to my bump, sharing his excitement and promising all sorts of mischief and adventures.

Tonight had started out as one of those occasions. We had been into Nanrunnel for a meal and had then retired to his room. A cuddle and a conversation with my bump had developed into a back rub and foot massage. Things had then heated up, clothes had been shed, and we had ended up making love. It was the first time since our reunion, and it was everything it had always been and so much more.

Tommy cradled me to him, his chest against my back, his chin resting on my shoulder, and one of his hands gently caressing my bump. 

“Don’t go back to your room tonight Barbara.” His voice was barely a whisper. “Stay with me.”

I tilted my head so that my cheek rested against his face, his stubble tickling my skin. “I’m not going anywhere, there’s no way that I could leave you.”

He rolled us so that he could kiss me, one hand stroking my cheek, the other returning to my bump. “I hoped and wished that I would get to experience the love I saw in that photograph, and yet part of me believed that I wouldn’t, that I didn’t deserve to have something that wonderful.”

“You need to stop being so hard on yourself. You had an accident, and it robbed you of a large chunk of your memory. It’s no wonder you were confused and disorientated.”

“I lashed out and hurt so many people.”

I kissed him, effectively silencing him.

“All of that is in the past. You can learn from it, but you can’t change it. You have to think about the future.”

“Something I almost let slip through my fingers.”

“The important word in that sentence is almost. Don’t waste time thinking about what might have happened Tommy, enjoy the now.”

His expression turned into something very lascivious, “is that an offer?”

I slid my arms around his neck, “no, it’s an order.”

“Then it’s one I will happily obey Ma’am.”

He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me.

~*~

The next morning at breakfast Barbara and I couldn’t keep our hands off each other. She perched on my lap, her arms around my neck for balance, as I alternated between kissing her and feeding her toast.

Mother walked into the room and stopped dead. Barbara blushed and went to move but I held her firmly. I felt her relax as Mother sat down opposite us, her expression warm.

“Good morning you two. Did you have a nice time in Nanrunnel?”

“It was a very interesting and productive evening, thank you.”

Barbara buried her face in the crook of my neck, and I could feel her shaking as she fought against bursting into laughter. To her credit, Mother didn’t bat an eyelid.

“I’m glad to hear it. Do you have any plans for today?”

“As a matter of fact we do. I’m helping Barbara move back into our room.”

The smile on Mother’s face said it all.

I lifted Barbara off my lap, stood and then wrapped my hand around hers. “Well, if you’ll excuse us, I need to supervise some packing. We’ll see you later!”

I left the room, tugging a giggling Barbara behind me.

“You do realise that your mother thinks that we are going upstairs to have sex?”

“Yes; so let's not disappoint her.”

“You’re a wicked, wicked man Thomas Lynley.”

“But you still love me.”

Barbara stroked my face. I leant into her touch, nuzzling her palm.

“I do.”


	10. Chapter 10

I woke to the sound of sobbing. Fumbling for the switch, I turned on the bedside lamp.

“Tommy?”

I tried to take him in my arms but he pushed me away.

“Helen… blood… my poor Helen.”

I reached for him again, but he scrambled off the bed and away from me.

“Please Tommy, talk to me.”

He looked up at me, his eyes bloodshot, tears streaming down his face. “I remember her death.”

He collapsed in on himself, wrapping his arms around his legs and burying his against his knees. I tore the throw off the end of the bed and draped it around his shoulders; sitting down next to him and rubbing his back. This time he didn’t push me away.

Sometime during the night I managed to get Tommy back into bed. He was pretty much an emotional zombie, and he willingly allowed me to lead him there and tuck him in. I curled up next to him, stroking his hair, watching over him, being there if he needed me.

He finally drifted off to sleep as dawn was breaking, and so I took the chance to sneak in a bathroom break, before going back to bed to try and get some sleep before Tommy woke again.

This time I woke to someone running their hand up and down my arm. My eyelids fluttered open and I discovered Tommy watching me.

“Hi.”

I smiled softly at him, “how are you feeling?”

“Stupid.”

“You had a memory recall, and it was a traumatic one at that; your reaction was understandable and not at all stupid. We can talk about it if it would help.”

He shook his head, “we were both there when she died, we know what happened.”

“Okay, but the offer is there and it is an anytime deal. If you want to talk then I am willing to listen.”

“Thank you.”

“You have nothing to thank me for. I love you, I’d do anything for you.”

“I appreciate that; and I hope you know that I love you too.”

“How could I not.”

~*~

I eased myself into the high-backed leather chair.

“So Tommy, why don’t you tell me what has happened since our last appointment.”

I ran my fingers through my hair, “I remembered something the other night and I fell apart. I pushed Barbara away, and yet she stuck by me and she took care of me. I hate that I treated her like that, but the memory, it seemed so real, it was as if I was there and it was happening at that precise moment.”

“What did you remember?”

“Helen’s death. Everyone had told me what had happened to her, but hearing about it and seeing it in living colour are two completely different things.”

“I imagine they are. You said Barbara took care of you?”

“She did. She was so calm and understanding; and she told me that we could talk about it if I wanted to.”

“Did Barbara know Helen?”

“Yes, and she was there when she died. She was the one who tried to save her while I just stood there, frozen to the spot.”

“Does you remembering Helen’s death change how you feel about Barbara?”

“No, definitely not. If anything, it reinforced just how special what we have is.”

“Do you feel guilty that you are happy with Barbara?”

“When I first woke up, you know that I didn’t remember Barbara, our marriage, the fact we were having a baby; nothing. I was so cold towards her, and my family. I could only remember how things had been, and because of that I kept them all at arm’s length.”

“But that changed when Barbara left you?”

“It did. It was the strangest thing. I had been so wrapped up in me; how losing my memory affected me, what I’d lost. I didn’t think about those closest to me. When I found her goodbye note I was worried about her. That was the first time I realised my actions had implications for others.”

“Barbara forgave you; gave you a second chance.”

“She did, but she would have been well within her rights not to. I was a complete bastard to her when all she did was love me.”

“You haven’t answered my question; do you feel guilty that you are happy with Barbara?”

“I don’t think I do. When Barbara went missing, my mother told me that she had known that Barbara and I were in love with each other before we knew it. She told me that she realised when she saw us at mine and Helen’s engagement party. I don’t have any recollection of that, but I know that the thought of losing Barbara terrifies me.”

“Have you remembered anything else?”

“Not remembered. I don’t know how to explain it, but when I am with Barbara everything feels right. Holding her, being held by her, it’s as if all the pieces of my life finally fit; like she is the one person my soul was searching for the whole time. She’s the total opposite of the type of women I was brought up believing I should marry, and yet she completes me.”

“She makes you happy?”

“More than that, much more than that.”

“But?”

“What if I’m not who her soul has been searching for? What if…”

“Tommy, stop. Barbara left you because she loved you enough to let you go, to let you be happy with someone else if she wasn’t what you needed. You went after her and she gave you a second chance. Has she given you any indication that you aren’t exactly who she needs?”

“No.”

“Then stop looking for problems where there aren’t any and just enjoy your relationship.”

“I said something like that to Barbara the night we got back together.”

“Then it’s about time you took your own advice.”


	11. Chapter 11

Tommy was distracted when he returned from meeting with his therapist. I was torn; I could either say nothing and hope that he would tell me what was bothering him, or I could gently ask him if he wanted to talk. I didn’t want to seem as if I was prying; he was entitled to his privacy.

As I put his coffee on the table next to him he took hold of my hand and pulled me down onto his lap. I snuggled against him, my head resting on his chest.

“You would tell me if I was making you unhappy, wouldn’t you?”

“You’re not. What’s brought this on Tommy?”

“It’s something that has been worrying me.”

“Why are you worrying that you might be making me unhappy?”

“Because I’m a wreck; I’m tired a lot of the time, I have headaches, I can fly off the handle for no reason, I can’t remember anything about our life together. You have been so patient with me, so loving and so understanding. You’re about two months shy of giving birth, and yet you are the one who is doing all the heavy lifting in this relationship. You do all the giving and I do all the taking.”

“I don’t see our relationship in those terms and I never have. When we were partners and colleagues, we were there for each other. When we were just friends, and god that doesn’t come close to describing our connection, we always knew that if we needed help, emotional or otherwise, that all we had to do was ask. And when we said our marriage vows, we agreed to love and support each other through the good times and the bad ones. Some days I need to lean on you, and on others you need to lean on me; I’m not keeping score and neither should you.”

“I just worry that I’m not giving you the same support that you are giving me. You must be exhausted and yet you never complain.”

I smiled up at him. “You might not see things in quite the same way when you are trapped in the delivery room with me.”

Tommy’s hand slid under my shirt, resting on my swollen belly. “I take that to mean that you are planning on being rather vocal when you give birth.”

“There’s a strong possibility. I am definitely planning on expanding the profanity section of your vocabulary.”

“I look forward to broadening my education.”

“Shall I go and make you another coffee? This one has got to be tepid at best now.”

He shook his head, “I’d much rather you just stayed here.”

I protested half-heartedly, “I’m going to send your legs to sleep.”

“That’s my choice.”

“Okay then, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

~*~

When I came out of the bathroom Barbara was lying on the bed rubbing cocoa butter into her bump, paying particular attention to the raised scar on the right side of her abdomen. I had noticed it before, but had deliberately not asked her about it in case I upset her. That didn’t mean that my curiosity wasn’t piqued and, as we were opening up to each other more, I decided to ask.

I sat down on the bed, taking the cocoa butter from her, scooping some into my hand before warming it between my palms and then massaging it gently into her skin.

“Will it upset you if you tell me how you got this scar?”

She stilled my hand with hers, “it might upset you.”

“Tell me Barbara, please.”

She released my hand and I resumed my ministrations.

“It was during a case. I stepped in front of someone pointing a shotgun at a suspect who was under arrest. I thought that she wouldn’t fire but I was wrong.”

“Was I with you?”

She nodded. “It was only a couple of days after you and Helen lost your unborn baby and then she left you and went to stay with her sister Pen. You threw yourself into the case, determined to discover who shot at her and caused her to run her car off the road. We had just made the arrest when it all went to hell.”

“Mother mentioned that you were held hostage. Was that the same case?”

“No, that was our first case together when I returned to work after being shot. I should never have come back, I wasn’t ready.”

I warmed some more cocoa butter and then went to work on massaging her arms.

“Do you feel up to telling me about it?”

“It was a long time ago, I’ve made my peace with it now, but at the time I had post-traumatic stress disorder. I was putting on a brave face, not letting you or anyone see that I hadn’t properly dealt with what had happened to me. The stupid thing was, I knew that you were worried about me, that I wasn’t as okay as I made out I was, but every time you mentioned it I brushed you off.

“I went to the local pub to interview a group of locals. I had only just stepped inside when you called me to say that you had found out who the murderer was. You wanted me to get out of the pub but it was too late, it was the local constable and he was in the pub.

“He locked us in, held us at gunpoint, and I fell apart because he was pointing the gun at me, tormenting me, reminding me that I had been on the wrong end of a shotgun before and what he would do if I or anyone else challenged him.

“I was terrified at first, but then I got angry. I distracted him and then tried to beat him to death. You got into the pub and pulled me off him. I fought against you, but you took me outside. You comforted me, held me as I cried. You took care of me and made me feel safe enough to give in to everything I had been bottling up inside of me.”

I lay down on the bed and pulled her into my arms.

“Even though I may not say the words often enough, although I still can’t remember our past, you are the most precious thing in the world to me and if I lost you it would destroy me. I’ve come to realise that you are the one person I couldn’t live without.”

“I feel the same way.”


	12. Chapter 12

Barbara was kneeling beside the bed, her forehead resting on it, breathing heavily. I massaged her back, working my way down her spine from her shoulder to her bottom with the flat of my hand, first on the left side, then the right.

The midwife entered the room and smiled at us.

“Is the massage helping Lady Asherton?”

Barbara made a noise that sounded like a moan of pleasure.

I blushed. “I think in Barbara speak that that was a yes.”

The midwife giggled, “it probably was. Have you been timing Lady Asherton’s contractions?”

“They are about ten minutes apart.”

“You’ve still got a way to go Lady Asherton. I’ll come back and check on you in another fifteen minutes, but if you need anything just press the emergency call button.”

“We will, thank you.”

As the door closed I turned back to Barbara, “can I get you anything my love?”

She nodded, “water.”

I poured her a small cupful from the jug of iced water that had been provided and then held it to her lips and helped her drink. She waved me away as the next contraction began to take hold, her fingers clawing the bedding. I moved behind her and began to rub her shoulders, hating that she was in pain and knowing that it was going to get a lot worse for her before it got better.

When the contraction ended, Barbara pushed herself up onto her feet.

“I need the loo.”

I thought about offering her my arm, but rapidly decided against it. “Shout if you need anything.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll hear me!”

Barbara returned the same time as the midwife.

“Have your contractions increased Lady Asherton?”

“Tommy was timing them, I was too busy writhing in pain.”

“They’re still about ten minutes apart.”

“Do you want to move to the birthing ball Lady Asherton? It could help speed up your labour.”

“At this point I’ll try anything.”

The midwife and I helped Barbara get comfortable on the ball.

“Now you’re sitting upright I am going to attach a heartrate monitor and check on the baby.”

“Whatever.”

“I need you to stay still for a few minutes.”

“And there I was thinking I’d pop down the road for a pie and a pint!”

I raised an amused eyebrow at her, “I can track down the pie but I think you’ll have to wait a while for the pint.”

“I might just hold you to that… ooh, backrub Tommy, quick.”

I looked at the midwife for confirmation that she had finished checking the baby’s heartbeat. She nodded and so I did as I was ordered.

"Mmmm, that is so good... oh god, here comes another one.”

“Breathe slowly Barbara.”

The look I got was pure Sergeant Havers.

~*~

As her labour had progressed Barbara altered her position to leaning over the birthing ball. True to her word, she had taught me more swear words than I had ever learnt at Eton and Oxford combined and she had nearly broken my fingers holding my hand.

I was currently crouched down in front of her, moping her brow and offering words of encouragement.

“Thomas Lynley, if this baby isn’t a boy then you’ll have to get pregnant because I am not doing this again.”

“I don’t care what sex our child is, all that matters to me is that they are healthy.”

“Tell your mother that!”

“If you want me to then I will.”

Barbara grabbed my arm in a death grip as another contraction started.

“Push Lady Asherton, you’re almost there.”

As Barbara pushed I brushed her hair back off her face. “You’re doing really well; I’m so proud of you.”

“And pant.”

The grip on my arm lessened and she slumped half against me, half against the ball.

“This is worse than attending a briefing with Hillier!”

“I didn’t think that anything was worse than that.”

“Well this bloody well is, although not as bad as Webberley giving me an extremely detailed list of my failings as a police officer!”

“You never had any, not that I can remember.”

“I had plenty, being partnered with you help curtail them.”

“Glad I could be of service.”

~*~

As I watched Barbara holding our son I couldn’t stop smiling. I was overwhelmed by the love I felt for both of them, it was more than I had ever experienced before.

“Are you going to stand there grinning or come over here and hold your son?”

I moved over to the side of the bed and sat down. Barbara placed our son into my arms. Now it was her turn to smile.

“He’s perfect Barbara.”

“How could he not be with your genes.”

I chuckled softly, “I’m pretty sure you played a part in his creation.”

“I provided the egg and the incubator; those adorable good looks are all you.”

“The egg and the incubator? Really Barbara, you make yourself sound like a chicken!”

“Shush, don’t make me laugh or I’ll wake him up.”

“We can’t keep calling our son him; have you had any thoughts on names?” We hadn’t been able to find any names, male or female, that we could agree on and so we decided to wait until after the birth and see if inspiration hit.

“I was a bit busy giving birth to him, something I have to tell you was not easy. It felt like I was pushing a watermelon out of a hole the size of a polo mint!”

“And she’s back! I do love you.”

“I didn’t realise that I’d been anywhere, and I love you too.”

“How do you feel about Nicholas Edward Lynley?”

“Nicholas Edward, not too poncy.” She grinned at me, her eyes sparkling with mirth.

“So, it meets with your approval?”

“It does.”


	13. Chapter 13

Tommy shrugged off his robe, hanging it on the back of the door as quietly as he could.

“It’s alright, I’m awake. Your son has quite a pair of lungs on him.”

He climbed under the duvet and then rolled onto his side to face me. “Oh, he’s mine again is he?”

“I’m never that loud.”

Tommy quirked an eyebrow at me, “hmmm, do the words ‘yes Tommy, oh god YES’ ring any bells?”

I blushed furiously. “Okay, he’s our son.”

“Well he’s definitely inherited your appetite, he took a whole bottle. While we’re talking of appetites, now we’re both awake…”

I grinned wickedly at him, “I’m not getting out of bed to make you toast.”

His hand crept up my thigh, “I’m not hungry for food.”

I ran my finger down the centre of his chest, dipping into his navel and then travelling back up again. “So, what did you have in mind then?”

“I’d quite like to hear you screaming my name as you come around my cock.”

I shivered as his hand moved closer towards its target. “You do know what hearing you talk dirty does to me?”

His fingers slipped between my folds, “I think the fact you’re dripping wet gives me a pretty good idea. Do you want me Barbara?”

“I always want you Tommy.”

“Just as I always want you.”

~*~

Breathing heavily, I slumped back onto the bed.

“That never grows old.”

Barbara laughed, “glad to have been of service.”

“Don’t you mean glad to have been serviced?”

“Thomas Lynley!”

“Thomas Lynley what?”

“I’m shocked.”

“I might still have no memory of a large chunk of our past, but I do know for a fact that you are pretty much unshockable!”

Barbara turned onto her side, her hand stroking my chest. “Does that bother you?”

“What? That you’re unshockable?”

“No, that you still have gaps in your memory.”

“Sometimes I get frustrated when someone refers to something that I have no recollection of, but in truth you can’t miss what you don’t know. I got given a second chance at life, and you gave me a second chance at love. What I have now; you and Nicholas, the life we have built, it brings me more joy than I ever thought I would experience and I will always feel blessed.”

“When we first got back together, I was so scared of being me, of saying the wrong thing and driving you away again.”

“I hope you’re not scared now.”

“I’m not. I’m afraid the polite, non-sarcastic me went right out of the window when I was in labour. I was so preoccupied with what was happening that I dropped the pretence without even realising it. Funny thing is, once I did you seemed more relaxed and far more the old Tommy.”

“The bantering felt right, normal, effortless even. I didn’t have to moderate what I said, and I couldn’t believe how good that felt.”

“That was the way things always were for us. I guess we were both a bit scared in case we said or did the wrong thing.”

“Something that neither of us need worry about any more.”

As Barbara opened her mouth to respond the baby monitor let us both know that Nicholas was awake again. She rolled out of bed and grabbed her robe.

“My turn, you lie there and save your energy.”

“For anything in particular?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out on my return.”

I put my hands behind my head and grinned at her. “Don’t be long.”

As she reached the door she glanced back at me over her shoulder. "Knowing that you're lying here naked will give me an incentive to be as quick as I can.”

“I'll be waiting.”


	14. Epilogue

Tommy came into the kitchen with Nicholas hoisted high on his shoulders. I laughed at their antics.

“I thought that Daddy was teaching you how to ride a horse?”

Nicholas giggled as Tommy lifted him down, handed him a biscuit, and then watched him chase our spaniel Sammy out into the garden.

“Dinner will be ready soon Nicholas, so don’t go too far.” I shook my head at our son’s seemingly limitless energy; he regularly wore me and his father out. “So, riding lesson?”

“It went so well that Daddy had to pretend to be a horse all the way back from the stables.”

I slid my arms around his neck and kissed him, “my poor baby.”

“Me or Nicholas?”

“You.”

Tommy stood back so that he could rest his hand on my bump. “And how are you feeling after your nap?”

“I’m still tired, but not as bad as I was. Thanks for keeping our little terror occupied while I had my siesta.”

“It was the least I could do.”

I frowned up at him, “huh?”

“When you were in labour with Nicholas you told me that if I wanted there to be a next time then I would be the one who would have to get pregnant.”

“I did? Now why didn’t you remind me of that six months ago? It’s a shame really, we could have charged the Nanrunnel inhabitants an entry fee to come and see their pregnant earl!”

“You’re lucky I love you! So, dinner?”

“Don’t look so terrified, I know my limitations! Nancy prepared everything before she left, all we have to do is dish up.”

“Why don’t I do that while you go and retrieve our son and heir?”

I kissed him again, “I knew there was a reason I kept you around.”

Tommy cracked a tea towel across my behind. “Get out of my kitchen woman.”

“I’m going, I’m going.”

I wandered out into the garden, lost in thought. It was three years since Tommy’s accident and our lives had changed so much. We had moved down to Howenstow full-time when Nicholas had been six months old and Dorothy had moved into the townhouse. 

Over the years, Tommy had regained some memories, but he still had large chunks of his past missing. If he remembered something then we would talk it through, but he had stopped seeing his therapist. He didn’t believe that he was getting anything from the sessions that we couldn’t achieve as a couple. Tommy stood by his belief that the past wasn't important if it had no impact on his future. I agreed: we were together, in love, and we had never been happier.

I stood on the path and watched Nicholas and Sammy playing with a tennis ball.

“Nicholas, let Sammy have his ball; it’s time to come in and wash your hands.”

“Coming Mummy.”

His little hand crept into mine and, smiling, we headed back into the house.


End file.
